David was always someone who thought he would be alone forever. He was never any good at talking with girls and because of this any girl he asked out would either reject him or never return after the first date. His heart slowly breaking because he just wanted someone to love him. Then his whole world was turned upside down.
David met this adorable giggling girl named Astrid and she showed him what love really was. His dark world of black and white was filled with color, and for the first time, in as long as he could remember, he was happy. Then tragedy struck and the sunshine in his cloudy day was gone. David’s world faded back to the bleak world of gray and he was alone.
David awoke and rolled over in bed, only to be reminded the other side was empty.
“Oh, so you hate being tickled huh?” David questioned playfully.
“Yes so do not,” Astrid began before being overcome with laughter as David tickled her.
The two wrestled around some until ending with a kiss.
David turned away from her side of the bed. He was filled with sorrow from the memories that would not stop playing in his head. Her laugh. Her smile. Memories that filled him with happiness and ripped his heart out at the same time. Saying he missed her was an understatement.
After smoking a cigarette, David got out of bed and walked over to the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge. His gaze drifted over to the stove.
“I’m making pancakes,” Astrid said lifting her spatula to point at David while scrunching up her face, “If you don’t want any, too bad. You’re having some.”
The couple laughed and David wrapped his arms around Astrid from behind.
“I love you,” David said kissing her cheek.
“I love you too,” Astrid said turning into the kiss with a smile.
I love you. The last thing he ever got to tell her. David’s eyes began to well up with tears. It felt so good to say that to her. To hear the happiness in her voice when she said it back. It crushed him, he would never have that again.
David sat down on the couch and lit another cigarette. His life had revolved around her. She was his first thought in the morning and his last before bed. He could not remember how to live without her.
“I love you,” David murmured under his breath as tears ran down his face.
David pulled out his phone and opened his voice mail. He knew he should not. He knew it would only hurt more but he had to hear her say it again.
Phone: “One saved voicemail.”
Astrid: “Hey nerd, I guess you’re asleep. I’m just hanging out. Thought I’d call. You better be on time to pick me up later. Ha-ha. Well, I love you. M’bye.”
David could feel his heart break in two. She would never say that to him again.
Phone: “To replay press…”
Astrid: “Hey nerd…”
His eyes filled with tears, David looked over to the empty side of the couch.
Astrid looked over and smiled at David. She nestled in beside David, their hands intertwined. David loved the simple feeling of her hand in his.
David’s hand fell empty to the couch cushion. There was no more hand to hold. After a deep sigh, David scrolled through his movie streaming program and kept seeing titles he and Astrid enjoyed together.
“Oh my God,” Astrid said giggling uncontrollably, “This is hilarious.”
David was not even paying attention to the comedian on the television. He was lost in the glow in Astrid’s eyes whenever she smiled.
David could not watch those shows again without becoming choked up. After a dreary day, David meandered back into his bedroom.
There Astrid lay just waking up.
“Honey, I’m home,” David said with a chuckle entering the room holding a cup of coffee, “I always wanted to say that.”
“Oh, you brought me coffee?” Astrid yawned while stretching.
“I knew you’d want one,” David said handing her the coffee, “So what’s the plan for the day beautiful?”
“I’m not sure,” Astrid said taking a sip.
“Well I’m good with this,” David said sitting next to Astrid on the bed and giving her a kiss.
The room was bleak and dark. David tried to keep the lights off so he would not see how empty the bed really was. He laid on his side and just stared at her empty pillow. Wishing he could see her eyes staring back at him.
“What?” Astrid questioned playfully.
“Nothing,” David said with a smile, “I just like your face.”
Astrid smiled. That was David’s favorite part of the day.
David rolled to his other side and sobbed uncontrollably.
“I miss you so much,” David muttered between his labored breaths.
David eventually drifted to sleep, but rarely lasted more than a few hours.
David spent most of his days broken and numb. He had stopped leaving his apartment because it no longer felt right without her by his side. His days just blurred together, only being separated by whether he was crying to himself or just trying to numb his aching heart. The pain was the only reason he knew he still had a heart because he just felt hollow.
David wanted a drink so bad. Just one beer, maybe two. Just to numb his pain. He did not want to slip back into his heavy drinking because it was something Astrid helped keep him from. He wanted to stay strong for Astrid, but he was crumbling fast.
David began drinking periodically just to get through the day until he was eventually drunk at all times. David could not stand the feeling of her not by his side. The feeling of how cold his bed had gotten without her in it. How dark the day had gotten without her smile to brighten it.
“Smile for me,” David muttered to himself, “How can I smile without you to smile back? I know.”
David grabbed his mask and drew a crude smile across it.
“Now I’ll always smile,” David slurred looking at his work, “No, this is stupid.”
David rubbed at the smile to wipe it off, but he only smeared it. It became an eerie grin. David just sat and stared at it.
“I’ve got to get the fuck out of here,” David stated.
After finishing his bottle, he grabbed another and bolted into the city. He found his way to the highest point of a bridge. The spot overlooked the city, but more importantly the river that split the city in two.
David sat near the edge, sipping from his bottle. He gazed across the skyline of the city.
“Why did she have to die?” David questioned, “Why?”
Tears rolled down David’s face.
“She said she’d love me forever,” David slurred standing up.
“YOU FUCKING SAID FOREVER!” David shouted throwing his bottle out into the water.
“I can’t do this without you,” David muttered.
David stepped up to the edge. He could feel the cool breeze against his tear soaked cheeks as he peered over the edge. He closed his eyes, his head filled with images of Astrid’s smiling face.
With a step, David was drifting through the air. He met the dark water below with a splash and the abyss swallowed him up. He could feel the air escaping him. His lungs trying to grasp at every last second of oxygen it had left.
An explosion from inside the city snapped David back to reality, causing his to stagger back some from the edge.
“Fuck,” David murmured sobering up some from the shock, “Now what the fuck is going on.”
With a flash of electricity, David was gone.